Stuff Nobody Tells To Beginners

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”
― Ira Glass

***The Odyssey, Book XX***

Nachos

Tortilla chips
Cheddar cheese
Monterey Jack cheese
4 oz can chopped chili peppers
Sour cream
Salsa
Jalapeno pepper rings
Green onion, chopped

Preheat broiler.  Cover a metal baking tray with tortilla chips - an overlap is fine.  Shred enough cheddar and Monterey Jack cheese to coat chips.  Coat the chips with the cheese.  Spread some of the chili peppers over the cheese, do so to taste.  Broil for 2 to 3 minutes, until cheese is melted.  After cheese is melted, coat with sour cream, salsa and sprinkle with the green onion.  Serve with the pepper rings for those who enjoy the kick.

*** Working on the Odyssey.  Can barely take it.  Had to order the Cliff Notes.  On Book IV. ***

Hemingway: External Turned Internal

            Ernest Hemingway has long been regarded as one of the greatest American authors.  His brilliance, which is demonstrated so clearly in his most well known novels, “For Whom the Bell Tolls”, “A Farewell to Arms” and “The Old Man and the Sea”, trickles down to even his shortest works. In the short stories, “Indian Camp”, “Hills Like White Elephants” and “A Clean, Well-Lighted Place”, he reaches his audience with all of the gusto a reader can hope for from a piece of  his work – long or short.  His writing uses modernism in such a way as to teach the reader about human beings and the external situations that they turn internal – even if he was unable to internalize the same lessons in his own life.

            Hemingway faced many battles of his own during his life; including war, alcoholism, multiple marriages, bipolar disorder and eventually his life ending in tragedy – by his own hand.  For someone who had dealt with so many challenges along the way, it should be no surprise to readers that his wit and wisdom becomes radiant in his words.  In “Hills Like White Elephants”, he takes on the tough issue of abortion without an obvious statement as to the nature of the character’s argument.  The girl in the story does not appear to want to go through with it while the man in the story would prefer that she would.  “We’ll be fine afterwards. Just like we were before” (Hemingway 3).  While she remains unconvinced that she will, in fact, be “fine” afterwards, it is interesting to note that both characters are so vividly drawn within the context of the disagreement – without ever being overt or ugly about such a sensitive issue.  This is an example of modernism at its finest, focusing on the individual and what is stirring within.  “Modernists concern themselves with the sub-conscious” (Lorcher 2009).  While Jig does not state outright that she does not want to go through with it, she does not want to speak of it either.  “Would you please please please please please please please stop talking?” (Hemingway 5)  Instead of coming to a definitive answer to the issue at hand, she chooses instead to ignore the problem while the man in the story wants to face it head-on and come up with the solution – the solution he wants.  One interesting thing to note about this piece is the use of the words “girl” and “man” as opposed to “woman” and “man”.  The woman’s way of dealing with the problem at hand could be perceived as childish – in her attempts to ignore it.  Drinking and changing the subject being two of her tactics, both of which do not deter the man she is with.

            In “Indian Camp”, we again see interpersonal turmoil – though not as blatant.  This time it is between a father and son.  The son, Nick, who may have begun the evening with interest becomes disheartened by the extreme nature of what he witnesses.  “He was looking away so as not to see what his father was doing” (Hemingway 2).  The father then proceeds to boast about the fantastic job he has done in delivering the Indian woman’s child – though a suicide in the same room causes him to reconsider his boasting.  In “A Clean Well-Lighted Place”, the interpersonal turmoil is between co-workers – coming from two different angles on aging.  While aging is not the only component to the story, it is interesting to note the two viewpoints of people who hold the same job.  One wants to go to bed while the other has no desire or interest in doing so. 

            During the reading of all three of these stories, there is a sense of seniority.  A father over a son, a man over a woman and an older co-worker disagreeing with the actions of a younger co-worker.  However, in each of these stories – in the end – the character who appears more naïve ultimately shows their own brand of wisdom.  In “A Clean Well-Lighted Place”, the younger waiter wants to return home to his wife and go to bed – and so he does.  In “Indian Camp”, the son finds the trauma of watching a troubled birth and a suicide a decidedly difficult thing to bear and makes a wrong assumption based on the close proximity of these two events – “he felt quite sure that he would never die” (Hemingway 4).  In “Hills Like White Elephants”, it is very possible, at second glance, that it is not that Jig wants to remain in denial or continue to use avoidant behavior but she is carefully considering the consequences her actions may have on her – as well as on her relationship with the man with whom she speaks. 

            In Hemingway’s life and subsequent death, there is a pervasive sense that he may have been or become disillusioned himself – and ultimately became a bit unsure of anything at all.  For many who have been through many trials and tribulations in life, this is a natural reaction.  Things do not always work out the way one may hope and growing older and “wiser” may not hold the answers one is expecting.  Situations between people will always come from two different angles and worldviews, regardless of the closeness of the relationship.  “Modernists believe the world is created in the act of perceiving it; that is, the world is what we say it is” (Lorcher 2009).  Ultimately, Hemingway’s wisdom comes in the form of understanding human nature to the point of understanding the differences between individuals and looking into this with grace and tact.  In understanding modernism, it helps to understand that most modernists do not prescribe to one line of thinking.  They do not side with one thought process or worldview.  Ernest Hemingway mastered this in his career – as is evident in the stories mentioned herein.  No one person is the champion of the story but merely human, no one person is in the right or in the wrong – they just are who they are.  This is a direct reflection of who Hemingway was in his own life; a unique and seemingly larger than life soul from whom countless readers have reaped the benefits and rewards.   

           

Works Cited

Lorcher, Trent.  “Lesson Plans: Modernism in Literature”. 26 Dec 2009.  Brighthub.com. Web. 18 June 2011.

Hemingway, Ernest.  “Indian Camp”.  http://www.nbu.bg/.  Web.  19 June 2011.

Hemingway, Ernest.  “A Clean, Well-Lighted Place”.  Mrbauld.com.  Web.  19 June 2011.

Hemingway, Ernest.  “Hills Like White Elephants”.  Gummyprint.com.  Web.  19 June 2011.

       

“Beloved”: At the Mercy of the Past

According to Dr. doCarmo’s notes on Realism and Naturalism, “Naturalism’s central belief, in fact, is that individual human beings are at the mercy of uncontrollable larger forces that originate both inside and outside them.” In “Beloved”, nearly all of the characters show in one way or another that they are at the mercy of their feelings about the past.  In the obvious sense, Sethe is at the mercy of her dead daughter – while in a more profound sense; she is at the mercy of all she has been through; circumstances and memories that haunted her to the point of killing her child and beyond.  “How if I hadn’t killed her she would have died and that is something I could not bear to happen to her” (Morrison 236), in Sethe’s mind, Beloved’s death by her mother’s hand was simply the better choice than a slow death under the keeping of the schoolteacher.

            When Sethe is first introduced in the novel, there are three occupants in her home.  She shares it with both her daughter, Denver, who is very much alive and her dead daughter – Beloved - who haunts the house with not only a sadness but with “outrageous behavior”. (Morrison 4).  She has lost the admiration and love of those around her, including her other children as well as their neighbors and friends due to the “baby’s venom” that lives within 124. (Morrison 3).  However – it is not so much the actual spirit of her daughter that scares those around them away, it is the actions that lead to her dead daughter’s death to begin with, namely the fact that she murdered her daughter with a handsaw.  As the novel progresses, a man from her past becomes part of her present and begins to share their home.  This fourth person in the house is too much for Beloved to bear, so she comes from beyond the grave to reveal herself in human form.  At first, she appears to be a lost and sick visitor.  By novel’s end she is a true terror to all those around her.  “Beloved ate up her life, took it, swelled up with it, grew taller on it.” (Morrison 295)

            During their lives Sethe, Paul D, Baby Suggs and Stamp have lived an endless mire of oppression by whites.  They all feel it, they all know it; “what Baby Suggs died of, what Ella knew, what Stamp saw and what made Paul D tremble.  That anybody white could take your whole self for anything that came to mind.” (Morrison 295)  For Sethe, however, her own past has eaten her alive and has begun to eat away at her child Denver as well.  Sethe is unable to let go of her memories and it has not only deadened her eyes but also the whole of who she is.  When Paul D comes to stay, a part of her is awakened not only as a woman but simply as a human being. “She knew Paul D added something to her life – something she wanted to count on but was scared to.” (Morrison 112)  This awakening uproots not only Sethe’s established household (including both Denver and Beloved) but Paul as well.  He is a wandering man, afraid to stay in any one place for too long.  The past they shared while both slaves, bonds them in a way that nothing else could. 

            Trauma and its lasting effects are felt throughout this intense novel.  All of the characters show in their own ways that some scars do not heal.  Whether brought on by others or by oneself, some things just appear too much of a strain to be able to get over.  A life in captivity, whether it is by a ghost or by plantation owners – is barely a life worth living.  Yet, if someone is pushed hard enough it is possible to overcome.  Denver shows this when she grows the courage to reach out for help. “So it was she who had to step off the edge of the world and die because if she didn’t, they all would.” (Morrison 281)

            What haunted Sethe most turned out to be not her daughter’s ghost coming to tangible life but the guilt, victimization and condemnation she lived with for so many years.  She received condemnation from the surrounding community – as well as herself, she was victimized from her various keepers – both human and inhuman and she felt tremendous guilt about a child she loved right into the grave.  Her life so desperately wanted the freedom she was both unwilling and unable to give it and what proved to be necessary was the eventual depletion of these emotions that came from Beloved feeding off her.  “Now she is running into the faces of the people out there, joining them and leaving Beloved behind.  Alone. Again.” (Morrison 309)

Many times, it is just this – moving beyond all of what one has known and leaving the past as it is that leads to the greater freedom that most people truly long for.  “Freeing yourself was one thing; claiming ownership of that freed self was another.” (Morrison 111)

Works Cited

doCarmo, Dr. “Dr. doCarmo’s Notes on Realism and Naturalism”. BCCC Faculty Web Server. Web. 31 May 2011

Morrison, Toni.  Beloved. New York: Vintage Books. Print.

Chicken Parm

4 large chicken breasts, skinless, boneless
6 egg whites
1 cup grated parmesan
1/2 cup dry bread crumbs
2 tsp Italian seasoning
Olive oil
shredded mozzarella

Place egg whites in a shallow bowl, beat slightly.  Combine parmesan, bread crumbs and Italian seasoning in seperate bowl.  Cover bottom of frying pan with olive oil and begin heating at medium heat.  Chop each chicken breast into 3 or 4 equal(ish) pieces.  Dip each piece of chicken into egg whites and then coat with bread crumb mixture.  Place into hot oil.  Cook chicken for about 6 minutes on each side.  After the second side is cooked, cover each piece of chicken with a spoonful of sauce and top with mozzarella.  Cover dish and lower heat to a simmer.  Allow to cook, covered for 3 minutes, until cheese is melted.     

One Aspect of Naturalism in “Daisy Miller”

“Daisy Miller” presents readers with a relationship between two Americans abroad.  One, Miss Daisy Miller, is new to the American upper class society in Europe, while the other, Frederick Winterbourne has been in Europe for quite some time – in the realm and under the influence of high society all the while.  He understands the “rules” of such a social circle and sees what everyone around him sees. When those around both Daisy and Winterbourne disapprove of her conduct, it seems that he is a young man with a conscience that will not allow him to discriminate against her. Winterbourne's unwillingness to do so is fueled by a hopeful yet undefined romantic interest in Miss Miller. “Winterbourne was impatient to see her again, and he was vexed with himself that, by instinct, he should not appreciate her justly”. (James 11) While this story offers the reader several different examples of naturalism, one example can most easily be found within the context of various different reactions to her throughout the story, ending ultimately with Winterbourne’s lack of change at the end of the story.

Miss Miller is declared from the beginning of the story as not only uncultivated but also unfit to be accepted by Mrs. Costello, Winterbourne’s aunt.  “They are the sort of Americans that one does one’s duty by not – not accepting”. (James 9)  It appears, once in Rome, that others are not as quickly unwilling to simply not accept Miss Miller as she and her mother are invited to a party given by Mrs. Walker, another within the social circle that they all find themselves.  However, by the time of the party, Mrs. Walker’s open mindedness has faded as she openly disgraces the young girl to everyone at the party.  “She turned her back straight upon Miss Miller and left her to depart with what grace she might”. (James 13)  The story culminates with everyone having turned their back on Miss Miller for her wild and unsavory behavior with a particular man from Rome, Mr. Giovanelli when they are alone at midnight in the Colosseum – a night that ultimately leads to Miss Miller’s death via “Roman fever”.

According to Dr. doCarmo’s Notes on Realism and Naturalism, naturalist writers “don’t think it’s the individual’s place to change the world, and whatever moral struggle s/he goes through may very well add up to little or nothing”.  Throughout the story, Frederick often admits that Miss Miller does not live up to the caliber that their social circle is accustomed, “they helped him to make up his mind about Miss Daisy.  Evidently she was rather wild.” (James 9) “She seemed to him, in all this, an extraordinary mixture of innocence and crudity”. (James 18) “She was a young lady whom a gentleman need no longer be at pains to respect”. (James 19)  While he admits this both verbally and internally, he is still at a tug of war with himself due to his admiration for the young lady.  After her death, he confronts Mr. Giovanelli about the detrimental behavior from the night when they were found in the Colosseum together.  He had taken Miss Daisy to a “nest of malaria” (James 19) and a native should have known better.  Giovanelli’s response to him is weak, at best and leaves Winterbourne thinking of Daisy’s “mystifying manners” (James 21) over the next several months. In all of this time of thinking about her, he concludes little except that his aunt was right from the beginning “You were right in that remark that you made last summer.  I was booked to make a mistake.  I have lived too long in foreign parts.” (James 22)

The story ends with a description of Winterbourne that is identical to the one found at the beginning of the story.  This is a clear example of what doCarmo is explaining in his notes.  Winterbourne went through this experience – attempting, albeit without much conviction, to change other’s minds but failing to do so.  In the end, the entire experience does nothing to change anyone’s mind, not even his own.

Works Cited

James, Henry. “Daisy Miller”.  Electronic Text Center, University of Virginia Library. Web. 31 May 2011.

doCarmo, Dr. “Dr. doCarmo’s Notes on Realism and Naturalism”. BCCC Faculty Web Server. Web. 31 May 2011                                                                                         

                                                              

*** Got an A on this one.  Which makes me smile.  Not a high A but an A nonetheless.  Still working on Beloved... pg 243.  Gotta finish the last bit tonight.***



Adventures of Huckleberry Finn: Breaking the Barriers of Society

The common thoughts prevalent during the time of slavery throughout the southern parts of the United States affected Huckleberry Finn in an unconscious way , leading to confusion as to what was right or wrong when helping Jim seek freedom. “I begun to get it through my head that he was most free - and who was to blame for it? Why, me I couldn’t get that out of my conscience, no how nor no way.”(Twain 90) In the same way, many people today become emotionally and mentally confused when their gay loved ones wish to get married, often feeling torn between whether this is the “right” or “wrong” belief to stand behind.

During Mark Twain’s time, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn drew controversy as it still does today. The topic of race and slavery is masterfully handled within the pages of this great American novel.  While the majority of modern day Americans would proudly frown up the idea of segregation, let alone slavery, there is another battle which is currently a hot-button topic that draws unusual parallels to the treatment of blacks in the book.  In our time, we are faced with the question of whether or not gay marriage is an equal right that should be afforded to those who desire it.  Just as Jim desired freedom, many men and women living in this country desire the basic freedom and protections that the law provides for their straight counterparts.  The battle, however, is not so basic to those in the trenches – just as it was not easy or basic for Huck Finn, who resided in the confusing world of what his heart told him about Jim, “I knowed he was white inside” (Twain 276) and what society told him about how he should feel toward slaves, “People would call me a low down Abolitionist” (Twain 45).  For those wrestling with the idea of marriage for their gay loved ones, the internal issues can often mimic the internal turmoil Huck faced throughout the novel.

Approximately 1.7% of the current American population identifies themselves as homosexual, while 1.8% identify themselves as bisexual. (The Williams Institute for Sexual Orientation Law and Public Policy, 2011) For each of the 3.5% mentioned herein, it can be expected that there are many heterosexual family and friends who care deeply for them – just as Huck Finn cared deeply for Jim, regardless of what society said about him.  “But somehow I couldn’t seem to strike no places to harden me against him, but only the other kind.” (Twain 216).  For those with a homosexual loved one, society overall still sends the message that their loved one is somehow less deserving, inherently disordered or “wrong”.  This attitude, which stems from many different places; religious belief, fear of the different or unknown as well as nothing more than long held misunderstanding of the biological nature of homosexuality.  When beliefs such as these are regularly fed into a person, just as the mindset that Huck had throughout the novel had been fed to him over time, there comes great confusion within the individual   – though the time may very well come when he or she has to decide for themselves what they really feel about this idea.  As he had the clear-cut opportunity to turn Jim in he observed, “I warn’t man enough – hadn’t the spunk of a rabbit.  I see I was weakening.”  (Twain 93)

For Huck, what he was feeling would be, by today’s standards a place not of weakness but of strength and a sense of enlightenment, not usually found in a boy his age, born and breed in the south.  It took, for him, getting to know Jim as a person and seeing that they were not so different after all.  “I do believe he cared just as much for his people as white folks does for their’n.” (Twain 158).  When faced with a loving homosexual relationship in an intimate way, such as close friends or immediate family members, it is hard to deny that the love between man and man as well as woman and woman is any different than the love between a man and a woman. 

While all traces of his previous thinking and feeling did not completely dissolve for Huck nor for Jim, “Jim he couldn’t see no sense in the most of it, but he allowed that we was white folks and knowed better than him”, (Twain 250), it did become clear that overall they were on the same page at the end of the book.  “Now, old Jim, you’re a free man again, and I bet you won’t ever be a slave no more.” (Twain 276) 

In the same way, it may not be a clear-cut answer of complete emotional agreement on part of the straight community that the gay community should be held in such high esteem as to allow for gay marriage.  Yet, when faced with your child, your best friend, your sister or your brother’s happiness  and protection under the law – as well as the understanding that belief differs from person to person, it would be hard to deny that passing laws to grant this freedom is not only rational but the right thing to do.  As Huckleberry Finn observed “human beings can be awful cruel to one another”. (Twain 233).  In the battle for freedom, the small battles that go on within the individual are where the war will either be won or lost.  People are often hard enough on themselves -  it seems a useless endeavor to be hard on one another as well – attempting to sway the individual does often work, unless that individual is willing and able to find the strength to go against the grain just as Huck did within the pages of this amazing piece of work.

Works Cited

Twain, Mark. Adventures of Huckleberry Twain. New York: Barnes and Noble Books. Print.

Gates, Gary J. The Williams Institute, UCLA School of Law.   2011, April. Web. 29 May 2011.

*** I was debating whether or not to post this essay, which I wrote for class.  Obviously, I chose to do so.  I got an 85.  Not the best grade ever but good enough for me - being that this was my first essay written in probably - oh - about 13/14 years.  I'll be posting my essay on Daisy Miller shortly.  Still reading Beloved and I haven't gotten very far... pg 33***